Struggles

There are days when being Diabetic is too much. On Wednesday night my pump decided to stop working. This was a day much like many of our ministry days. We had a visitor in town, and it was awesome suddenly things started stirring up. Stirring up means basically lots of need that day including a friend who was broken over past sins and a marriage that needs to be bathed in prayer, to a great talk with a student, and then many in depth conversations about who the Lord is and our response to that. About 6pm, the spiritual tension really elevated as it usually does when there is a heavy topic being taught that night. '

I usually am the one to get attacked ( THANK GOD THAT THE LORD WINS) and that night was no different. My pump decided to stop working all together and I had to call the company who we get it from and decide what to do. They informed me that the warranty was out of date. (sweet) This is just what I needed to hear, well ok not really. However this means at some point in the next 3 months I will need to get a new insulin pump. (a mear 4000 dollars) The thing that struck me as knowing it was an attack is that once I was home it started working. The following morning it stopped again just when another important meeting was taking place, then in 10 minutes it started up again. WHAT???????? Its been working since.

However I did call my doctor to get a backup system in place(injections) in case it stops all together for good. There is a replacement pump that is on its way, which should be here on the 6th. Ugh, this is tough.

I often wonder how people think that when you become a Christian your life with will be perfect and filled with rainbows and gumdrops. I think just the opposite. Of course there are going to be hard times, and good times, but the difference is having joy in the midst. I then think about Job.  I would love to see a snapshot movie of his thoughts, and life in the midst of everything being removed from him.
I am grateful for attacks cause that means God is working and that makes me happy, but its SO difficult in the midst of it. I of coarse have to pray SUPER hard and throw out all the lies that come in my head. Like, you shouldn't be doing this, you are a drain on your husband. Praise the LORD !!!! GOD WINS!
Praise the Lord that my husband combats the lies as well. I am thankful for a husband who is a man of God, and walks humbly with his God!

I am in prayer for those in the ministry that the Lord is moving in. Praise God that He does uses the broken people we are. Thank you Lord that you find ways to use me and speak to me! I feel completely overwhelmed by your love, grace, mercy, forgiveness. Who am I that you love me so??