As some of you know, we went to Germany for our World Wide Cadence Student Ministries Conference May4th- 13th. This was a trip that was hard, and amazing at the same time.
below are some thoughts I had journaled on the plane back.
"We are heading on our first flight. First as we were waiting to board we sat back and talked about what we saw during our time and what God was doing. One thing was clear, we had grown since leaving Germany. We looked back and realized our God, the God of the universe had given us a perspective change. Gone was bitterness gone was truth that we thought we knew. Replaced was the truth about God, the truth that God did move us thru a mighty time of growth and a mighty time of trust. We no longer were looking thru the lenses of pain and disorientation but now were looking thur the eyes of grace and stillness. Grace in the fact that the grace we felt and gave for others astounded even us. As Dan and I we were sharing at the airport we both had realized how much we each had grown in how we shared, how we talked, and in just how we viewed others. Gone was hurt that Satan had tried to grasp our hearts with; replaced was truth and talking truth over others. WHAT A MIGHTY GOD WE SERVE.
I came in to the conference not ready to connect emotionally, and it took till a while really before we were really able to. But what was interesting was the feelings of loss we felt Friday, knowing this was it. What really shocked me was ( it shouldn't have) that right after we did a study and Devo on identity, that is exactly how I was attacked with my identity in the group. I also began to grieve. Grief in a way I had yet to experience. A feeling of emotion that was so powerful I didn't know now how to deal with it. So much that all I wanted to do was run into the arms of Jesus, run so hard that the shock of the embrace would shake loose the feelings I was having.
Even leaving I knew i was emotionally done, but I saw how much we infect each other. When I am emotionally done, (tired basically) I easily slip into the triangle. I noticed it this week way more than I saw before in myself and others.
Also, being there during the time of finding out about the family that had an accident was shaking too. Realizing how futile and fast life is and how much all our petty wants are just vanity,
We went thru talking about loving one another and making disciples. It caused me to look at my life, and take stock in how much or how little I was doing this. So, who in your life would you say is good at making disciples?
Coming back into Korea, I knew we were in for work. I knew there were going to be rough nights, (ok now only 3 nights) of sleep, and hard days brain wise of figuring out a place to live etc...
That was and is all so true, but what I didn't think on, (which I should have) was the peace and calm that the Lord would bring in the midst. When we went into our now (new house) I was overwhelmed with the provision of God. Even in the first few steps, I stopped and stood in awe. Our God, even knew in my secret longings, wanted to pour out His goodness of things like a cool sink. When we were in the states helping my mom and dad redo their bathroom I was struck with the cool bowl sinks. I muttered something like, (man one day, in the future, I would love one of these) little did I know that God heard my little mutters and decided to add that in the new house just cause he could. Wow, God thank you!
In the house its furnished, which was amazing since we sold and gave away all our furniture knowing God would provide. Little did we know. In the house, also there is on the balcony a little cafe setting like thing (with chairs and tables) ideal for a good quite time and coffee dates with others who come and sit.
This song link was a song we heard at staff conference:
I LOVE IT, what a comfort to know!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&list=RD0327YX8bBB_Qs&NR=1&v=2yHbb1HP78k
I pray that as you listen, you are comforted by the Lord's peace!!!!!
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