Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Wanderings of a scattered but centered mind

I am out for some solo time walking around the ville ( American village- really not since there is night but bars and food) I have my headphones in and listening to klove and 
get the word out cd's
The first song as I walked out the door was  the Love of God that wanted to pierce through the lies. Right at that moment I happened to look down and find a rock in the shape of a heart. Not a surprise, but a surprise at the same time. You would think that after all the reminders the Lord has given I would know without a doubt how much the Lord does love. There is a story of seeing hearts of where I go, someone prayed for me on 2010. 
Living in the freedom and confidence today of whose I am.

I am also struck with the darkness of this place. I knew we would be in a fierce battle but  didn't realize how much. I am walking thru the streets listening the Gods word and praying it over where I walk. There is such a battle for the folks here. Marriages- people-students either thrive or dive here. 
Lord help us to be used for YOUR glory, and come alongside those folks who are struggling. We are yours, thank you for what you are doing even now, and the people that you have for us here. 

I was walking back and the found myself worshiping the Lord with everything I had, even singing in the streets. The Koreans looked at me funny, but I didn't care!! I wanted to shout the name of the Lord all over, and claim this area for the Lord.  

God use me, in every way you can, for your glory, and your purposes. 
I am here, ready!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

What are we hiding?

Check out this photo below?

What do you notice? I am struck with a few things.
We have passed by this house numerous times each day walking to the train station. I am always struck with the sheer amount of things that are hidden (or not so hidden) behind the house. The front of the house is a wonderful clean outside. I am struck with the thought of what do we hide from others? from God?
The phrase sweeping things under the rug, well how about putting them outside out back? What are some things we shove away, refuse to deal with, hold to ourselves? I know there are lots of times I don't want to resolve conflict and sweep it under the rug. I know there are things that I want to coddle and keep as my sin pet. Sounds weird to think of it that way, but I think its true. There are sin's that we don't really think are that bad, that we keep coddling. Gossip? Gluttony? Lust?
What are the things that you continue to do that are really hard to let go of?

If you have ever watched the show hoarders, than you can see something similar to this photo. When I watch that show I want to go in and clean everything, and dump everything. But, as I think about it, do I want to do that in my spiritual life? How often do we want to go in and remove the things in the back closets that have cobwebs from years of dust, and moths. Do we believe the Lord is our Redeemer?

But also, looking at this photo, I think of memories too. I am sure each thing they own has a memory; has a story. How do I process this thought?

Do I hold on to people and memories that the Lord is telling me to let go of?   How do I think of that? Who comes to mind when I think of that? No one person comes to mind, as I dearly love so so so many.
As I am writing I also am thinking of the rats, mice, and bugs that are under all that stuff. What in my life as I hold on to things-people is secretly being overtaken with bugs and such. All of this stuff could be good, or was good at one time, but now it looks like it has overtaken the place.
Also, it could have a whole other story that I can't even think of. Before we took this photo we saw the old man shuffle in the door.

All of these thoughts are really ramblings and processing ideas. I would love to hear your continued thoughts as you think about it...

Blessings abounding

I am in awe of the blessings of our God. As I write this, we have had numerous folks donate items we had only prayed to God for. This includes something simple like a iTunes card to be able to download a english version of apps to help us get around. I stand in awe of how our Lord provides. I don't know what to say really, as I look at things like sheets, garbage cans, laundry detergent, hot water pot. I am totally amazed!

Please join us in praising God for His provision of the little and big things that we need.
As you praise the Lord, thank Him for the little and big things in your life! Gratitude will cause you to fall to your knees. I know for us, (me) it strips away pride accepting things from others as an act of worship. Gone is the "Good ole American, do it yourself mentality", but replaced with a Godly perspective of a God who provides for His children.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Staff Conference to Germany

As some of you know, we went to Germany for our World Wide Cadence Student Ministries Conference May4th- 13th. This was a trip that was hard, and amazing at the same time.
below are some thoughts I had journaled on the plane back.

"We are heading on our first flight. First as we were waiting to board we sat back and talked about what we saw during our time and what God was doing. One thing was clear, we had grown since leaving Germany. We looked back and realized our God, the God of the universe had given us a perspective change. Gone was bitterness gone was truth that we thought we knew.  Replaced was the truth about God, the truth that God did move us thru a mighty time of growth and a mighty time of trust. We no longer were looking thru the lenses of pain and disorientation but now were looking thur the eyes of grace and stillness. Grace in the fact that the grace we felt and gave for others astounded even us. As Dan and I  we were sharing at the airport we both had realized how much we each had grown in how we shared, how we talked, and in just how we viewed others.  Gone was hurt that Satan had tried to grasp our hearts with; replaced was truth and talking truth over others. WHAT A MIGHTY GOD WE SERVE. 
I came in to the conference not ready to connect emotionally, and it took till a while really before we were really able to. But what was interesting was the feelings of loss we felt Friday, knowing this was it. What really shocked me was ( it shouldn't have) that right after we did a study and Devo on identity, that is exactly how I was attacked with my identity in the group. I also began to grieve. Grief in a way I had yet to experience. A feeling of  emotion that was so powerful I didn't know now how to deal with it. So much that all I wanted to do was run into the arms of Jesus, run so hard that the shock of the embrace would shake loose the feelings I was having. 
Even leaving I knew i was emotionally done, but I saw how much we infect each other. When I am emotionally done, (tired basically) I easily slip into the triangle. I noticed it this week way more than I saw before in myself and others.
Also, being there during the time of finding out about the family that had an accident was shaking too. Realizing how futile and fast life is and how much all our petty wants are just vanity, 
We went thru talking about loving one another and making disciples. It caused me to look at my life, and take stock in how much or how little I was doing this. So, who in your life would you say is good at making disciples?

Coming back into Korea, I knew we were in for work. I knew there were going to be rough nights, (ok now only 3 nights) of sleep, and hard days brain wise of figuring out a place to live etc... 
That was and is all so true, but what I didn't think on, (which I should have) was the peace and calm that the Lord would bring in the midst. When we went into our now (new house) I was overwhelmed with the provision of God. Even in the first few steps, I stopped and stood in awe. Our God, even knew in my secret longings, wanted to pour out His goodness of things like a cool sink. When we were in the states helping my mom and dad redo their bathroom I was struck with the cool bowl sinks. I muttered something like, (man one day, in the future,  I would love one of these) little did I know that God heard my little mutters and decided to add that in the new house just cause he could. Wow, God thank you! 

In the house its furnished, which was amazing since we sold and gave away all our furniture knowing God would provide. Little did we know. In the house, also there is on the balcony a little cafe setting like thing (with chairs and tables) ideal for a good quite time and coffee dates with others who come and sit. 

This song link was a song we heard at staff conference: 
I LOVE IT, what a comfort to know!

I pray that as you listen, you are comforted by the Lord's peace!!!!!

We are here

Many of you have been following us as we follow the Lord. Throughout this time we have seen God's hand move in so many way in our hearts and around us. Thank you for praying, there are no words to describe our DEEP DEEP thankfulness. Below are some photos as we arrived. Also our CSM Director and friend was here to see us too, which helped the transition of yesterday.

Our new home!!! 

Love this food! Yum!

A heart of a Youth Pastor's wife

As I sit here, I am awestruck by the vision of 3000 youth Pastor's, volunteers, Senior Pastors, all coming together to praise the name of Jesus. Camp is for the Campers. Yes, this weekend, we are at camp, and we are loving it. The amazing thing about a camp for those that love students is that we are all quirky and unusual. The environment is such that we can stop into any group and join a conversation. (although sometimes I need a bit more of a push)
We have been talking about being disillusioned with life, God, all of the above. While life throws at us many many curve balls, its how we respond to those objects flying that determine if we will get hit, wounded, or just bounced off of. While I admit its not easy when directions you think the Lord is leading changes, there is still a sense of hope in the midst of it all. Today in our general session Rick Lawrence asked us what taste of the Lord do we have in our mouth.  My answer is Hopefully and delightfully invasive. Ok, so we were only supposed to have 1 word, but I couldn't put it into 1 word. There I go moving out of the boundaries.
What I mean about the Lord being delightfully, and hopeful invasive, is this. There is extreme delight in knowing the Lord is at work, and extreme delight that the Lord is chipping away at the dead branches of my heart. That is where invasive comes in. Just like a medical invasive test where there is a scope that goes in and puts visual photos and examines your innards so often I feel the Lord doing that in my heart. Constantly I experience pruning in my heart, but pruning with a purpose. I know, and have experienced the Lord enough to know He prunes for my good.  The hard part sometimes is in the midst of life, fully and completely trusting with abandon.  Thus, when we are disillusioned I think its when we take our eyes off of the Lord, and His perspective for us,  and look thru our eyes at our circumstance.