Thursday, October 17, 2013

to facebook or not?

Recently the Lord has begun an overhaul in my heart. I am not sure what He is doing, I just know, I am asked to follow Him. All His ways are good, all His ways are His design for me. So as I have not gone on Facebook as much (have gone on a few times to take some photos off) I am amazed at how many times I want to post something, or say something on a status. I ask the Lord, ok I want to put this on there but... is that what you want? More often than not He says, Be Still.You talk to much. I will  and I AM. Your job now is to be obedient to the things I call you to. 

I stop and think about life before Facebook, about life before the internet. Yes, I am that old...
Seems as though we were not as busy, not a stressed, and didn't have information overload. Could it be that we share so much, (good and bad) that when we do get together there is nothing to talk about? Is that why I see so many people out and about with friends and all they do is look online for conversation, when a person is sitting there in front of them. This realisation came to me from many things actually. First, going on a date night with my amazing hunny and found I wanted to post so much online, that I neglected the moment I was in. Years down the line, when either I die or He dies first, and crave more time with them but knowing now, I didn't take advantage of the time I had with him and desired to go on Facebook more. Second, noticing everyone around me engrossed in their smart phones, that they don't recognise others around them. Could it be that we have missed countless divine moments the Lord has given because we are engrossed in our own life, and Facebook?

See how the Lord is overhauling me right now... so much meditation on His word.... 
Lord, Please mold me for your purposes and in your way. I desire to live a Radical life for you. I don't think you created us for anything less than a radical sold out life for you. Let me LOVE radically. Let me SHARE radically, let me FOLLOW radically.
This is my desire, to honour and follow you! 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Francis Chan or God?

We recently attended a conference where Francis Chan and David Platt were speakers. I was so excited when I saw Francis Chan walk in. It was like I was seeing a celebrety.  Upon that thought, the Lord reminded me of this...

Would you have the same excitement if I was coming into the room as you do for Francis? 

Ouch.... got it Lord! From then on, I was excited to hear from the Lord thru Francis and David. 

I am co-leading a PWOC study called Not a Fan, by Kyle Idelman. Interestingly enough, its all on the same wave length. What does it mean to " Take up your cross and deny yourself and follow Christ, and what has your relationship with the Lord cost you?" 

I am asking the Lord, where are you leading? How am I following you? Is there something that is keeping me from following hard after you? 

I have enjoyed the followers journal, one of my favourite devos actually. Not that its amazing, but the practical things it has you do, God is using it powerfully. For example: Think of something that you put before God... Now, worship it, and pray to it. What does that feel like, or what does that involk. It was awkward as many times I would put Facebook before spending time with the Lord. So how silly is it for me to pray to facebook. I made a decision to not go on Facebook for a long while till my priorities are back in line. 

God is doing a total overhaul in my heart as I am feasting on the Word for hours. What a difference that makes in my heart, in my soul, in my marriage. What do you feast on?

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Radical Love

What would you do to show radical love to your enemies?
What would you do to show radical Love to someone that blasts your name?
How do you show the radical Love of Jesus?
How do you live differently than nonbelievers? 
Are you persecuted for your faith? If not, why not? 

Dan and I and some friends went to a conference called Absolute disciple.  It was at a Mega church in Seoul, and the guest speakers were Francis Chan, and David Platt. What does a absolute disciple look like? How are we different from the world? Are we making disciples? After all isn't that a command of Jesus; to go into all the world and make disciples, baptising them. Hm. 

During this conference we were struck in so many ways by the Lord. The first session was amazing on Wednesday as we gathered with over 1700 people and worshiped in many different languages. So neat to experience God's presence in another country. Wow! Their customs touched out hearts deeply, but what was even better is knowing we serve the same God. They have such a passion to pray, a passion to boldly pray for their leaders in a way I have never seen before. 

The first session was on adoption. hm... really God? How we were adopted into the family of God and how adoption is a outpouring of God's work in us. How well do we care for the widows and orphans?
God hit both our hearts with a "Go" in restarting/continuing the adoption process.  We had been patiently waiting as the Lord told us to wait and be still in this area. So we did, but we so clearly heard him say, now is the time...

During the second day both Dan and I got attacked for sharing the Gospel. Wouldn't you know, the message that day was on being persecuted and joining in the fellowship of a suffering Saviour. How many of us consider it a joy to suffer? Think about how much you grow deeper in love with the Lord during suffering.... It is getting increasingly more unpopular to share Jesus in a world who shuns him. If the world hated him, how much more will they dislike us. What does this say for programs or leaders whom everyone loves?  Or evangelists who have a huge following? I still am working that one out...

The night session was on love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Hm... how do you love someone who hates you? how do you show the love of God to someone who wants nothing to do with you? What does radical love look like in this way? God told us to show someone radical love. While it was hard, and cost us greatly we obeyed. That obeying brought on so so so many questions from others cause it was out of the norm of what someone would do. 
What are you willing to sacrifice to show someone the love of God, and show your love to them? 

The last day was all about...therefore now go. Therefore is an important word here. Go is also important as many times we love to go to programs at church, and do things for the church and call that a radical faith. When was the last time we shared the Gospel? If we are commanded to go and make disciples  how many do I have? how many do you have? and if there are none, what is wrong?

If you are a follower of Christ, we have all authority in Heaven and on earth. Why do we get scared to use that authority? 

I can't even begin to explain the timeliness of this conference for us. Its been 6 months since we have been here in Korea, and so far its been harder than I could have imagined. Also so far its been more amazing than I could have imagined. We were discouraged a little from the hardness of life here, and it really awakened us back to the reality of why we are here. Wow! Thanks be to God for meeting us there, and reaffirming the call on our lives. We will go ANYWHERE you send Lord! We will suffer for YOUR name sake. We will not back down and water down the Gospel in anyway. The Word of God for the People of God is enough. We don't need new things or flashy programs, or anything other than the Word of God for the people of God. 

Monday, September 30, 2013

Lost in translation

I visited my doctor last Thursday for some issues, and while chatting something that was lost in translation was no drinks. I was greatly disturbed for a moment, and asked to clarify what he meant. It made my translator a little upset cause the doc didn't know what was going on, when i asked the clarifying question. So, no coffee for breakfast?  it took a moment for her to figure out what I was saying, she actually called the doc again to clarify. He said no coffee with sugar. Ah...

I however, had already decided it was time to give up caffeine for the many side effects I had been seeing. I wasn't abusing it, more I really enjoy the taste of it, and love the experience with friends.
This made me think: What else in my life gets lost in translation?

In relationships, do we lose what people are trying to communicate with us, and assume they said what we think we heard?   While we were support raising we learned a phrase that has helped us in so many ways over the years.
"This is what you said, this is what I heard, now, what did you mean?

Do we get wounded from words that were never intended, or wounded from thoughts that never should have been?

In our walk with the Lord, do we twist what the Lord has said to make it sound better. Do we water down the truth, so we don't get offended, or uncomfortable? is the Gospel comfort? or does the Lord require us to sacrifice our comfort in order that His name would be glorified?

What in your life is lost in translation?

Saturday, September 14, 2013



This is what we were chanting as we cheered on our students for the first ever Camp Humphrey's High school football team.  The students have only been practicing for 3 weeks, and the team (OSAN) they were playing was the school up until this year they had attended. For everyone it was a big game, and a big moment knowing we were a small part of history. 

See photos below:
We went with some of our staff who had to sign us on. (humbling)

As I sat and cheered I couldn't help but be overwhelmed and struck with the workings of the Lord over the past year. You see, it was May 2012 (a little over a year ago) on our Asia taste and see trip we had been on this very base (OSAN) and the five of us prayed around this school and this field. I had not been back to the field since that day.
Here we were now. living here and in a community we couldn't even get into, and now here I was watching a football team that has its first year. I was struck with the provision of the Lord over the year. 

Remembering the emotions of leaving, and being still and going. I was recalling the uncertainty that we felt many times, and the transition we muddled through to get to this point. I was recalling faces of students we left, and families and friends. Sitting here at the game I had emotions of the greatness of God, sadness of leaving a home we knew for 5 years, and gratefulness of where the Lord brought us. 

Maybe this was some of the grief leaving and being replaced with more excitement of what God is going to do. Regardless of what you call it, it was a moment with my Saviour that I savoured and cherished. It all culminated into an expression of "Here I am Lord, your servant, ready to do your will"

Sunday, August 25, 2013

First Prunning's of the Lord

Dan recently went through a study on bitterness and the effects it has on your relationship with the Lord. I watched him go through the process of releasing those things in his life, and in our conversations about bitterness, I realized I have some bitter roots that have yielded some growth in my heart. 

So today I started reading the study. I put the book down when I read the following statement. 
" A clue is bitterness remembers all the details." 

Hm. That statement hit me straight in the heart and I put down the book, and had to chew on it. As I was chewing I could start recalling situations. The author also talked about bitterness begins when someone sins against you. When you sin, its guilt that you feel and bitterness is usually caused by someone close to you. 
We don't get bitter from things that are way out of our circle, yes, things make you angry but not bitter. Bitter is a root that doesn't need to be cultivated, it grows on its own. The problem with bitterness it produces bitter fruit. 

I think there was a reason I did not want to read this book, cause I knew I was going to recall so many things. I never thought I had bitterness toward anyone or anything, but the Lord hit me like a hammer today. I began writing down things that I remembered all the details from and the pain that it caused. 
There is pain in bitterness even if the other person was not even aware of hurting you, or sinning against you. Its not your job to convince them, its your job to pluck the bitter root out of your heart with the God's strength and forgive. Easier said than done. I am going to take a solo day tomorrow and journal and spend time in prayer and walk with the Lord through some bitter roots. 

Here's to the journey! 

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

What do I filter truth through?

God keeps bringing in front of my eyes and heart the idea of truth. Through people and the Word, women's conference online... all of these things are bringing me back to truth. What do I filter truth through? Do I filter it through pain tinted glasses? Do I filter them through lies that I believe?
What lies are you believing?

Why is it so easy to believe lies? Why can't we embrace truth? Why can't we live in that truth of who we are, and what God has made us to be. Why do we as women compare ourselves to other women?
I know I am more aware of what I wear when I go to a women's conference, and women's time.  How often do we go into a room of women and look and size them up? Ok maybe its just me.

This past summer the Lord brought me through a total identity change. I feel like I was birthed into the person He has wanted me to be but I had been to scared to embrace it. Why are we fearful?
I tell you, if the Lord had not done that then, I would be a mess out here in South Korea. God's timing is perfect, and never late. So my question to you, what are you needed to be birthed through? What is it that you are holding on to, and believing lies in?  What will it take to embrace the Truth, God's truth?
What will it take to live that truth out?

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Be Still and Know

It seems that we are in another lesson about learning to Be Still. This is a lesson that the Lord has brought us to and thru that past year, but we are learning it again. 

So it brought me to look at the idea of stillness. 

Noun1.stillness - (poetic) tranquil silence; "the still of the night"
silencequiet - the absence of sound; "he needed silence in order to sleep"; "the street was quiet"
poesypoetryverse - literature in metrical form
2.stillness - calmness without winds
calmness - an absence of strong winds or rain
3.stillness - a state of no motion or movement; "the utter motionlessness of a marble statue"
state - the way something is with respect to its main attributes; "the current state of knowledge"; "his state of health"; "in a weak financial state"
fixednessimmobilitystationariness - remaining in place

This definition is from the free online dictionary. Do any of the above stand out to you? Hush, still, silence are all ones that stand out to me. 
The question I raise is how often do I crave the stillness, the silence or being hushed. Is being hushed a good thing? I often think of someone hushing me as a bad thing. To me it smacks at my pride of them not wanting to hear what I have to say. 
Is being still possible in this day and age? A time where everything is go go go, and we move from one thing to the next. A time where distractions abound to take our focus off the very thing that Lord is calling us to; stillness. 

Or, is stillness not thinking, not working tirelessly to figure out what in the world is the Lord doing? 
I think to, does being still make me uncomfortable? and if it does, why?

Often times in the stillness, we get uncomfortable because we are suddenly faced with who God is and who we are, and who we are not. We see that God is in COMPLETE control, and we are not. 
Does that make you uncomfortable? Does being still mean we sit on the couch and zone out? 
Does it mean the Lord is just saying, Calm child, I got this. 

That is another post about worrying and the lessons I am learning. 

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Awaken by God to pray

With all the blessings that the Lord has given, there is also a tremendous spiritual battle going on here in Korea. Many nights, I get awaken by the Lord to pray. Pray for the Vill (the place where all the bars are, and ladies of the night) and pray for the Chaplains, and pray for the Youth. I have never experienced so much battling going on until I came here. In a land that is sending more missionaries than any other country there is definitely a spiritual strong hold here. 

Its battling for souls on the front line. So many people are lifted in prayer, and pleading with the Lord on their behalf. Many students who hate us have no idea how many times we have brought them before the Lord and begged. So its goes with many youth pastors I suppose. 

Please join us in praying for youth, youth everywhere, and youth here in Korea. Pray for their families, and the geo bachelors here that they grow in the Lord. God is doing something here, we are excited to see it. 

Blessed beyond measure.

So today is Monday, the start of the work week and for us that's no different. Our work however in this season looks a bit different.  Today, being summer, Dan and I are taking some High school students to Pyeongtaek for some coffee and racing. I am going with a student first who I can't wait to hear her story and find out more about her. What better way than at a cat cafe that serves coffee. Dan will be meeting us with other students and some staff later to go racing. Simulated racing that is.

As we have been here for 3 months, I am amazed at what the Lord has done. Wow, who knew but the Lord when we started this journey many months ago that we would be where we are now. As I reflect this morning about the Hallways we went thru and the living on faith literally it gives me great hope in what God has in store. I don't know what that is, but as I see things here in Korea now it seems as if God is moving his pieces in place and there is about to explode a community here that is so on fire for the Lord.  Chapel has been amazing each week, the building up of community and getting the family feel.  Yesterday chaps shared its not just a service that we provide, we are the church body. We need each other for our walk with the Lord, and being here in Korea.

Something about being so far removed from everything known causes you to create great community. I can't wait to see what God is doing. We are involved in a small group here, that just started. We are excited to deepen friendships, and make new ones along the way.

He has put so many amazing people in our paths already, that I am blown away by His faithfulness. I added this to our adoption blog today. This is a sample of the amazing folks around here.

hey everyone. Its been a while since I have written.  We still are hoping for Hope. WE don't know what that looks like. We don't know what the Lord is doing, but we know He is doing something. 

Saturday night we have a lovely Korean couple over to our house, and they asked us about babies.  They asked if they could pray over us, and if they could be our super prayer warriors in that department. They mentioned they had done this with a few other couples while they were in Korea, and the Lord heard them, and gave the couples a child while in Korea. 

I don't know what this all means, but I love that they want to pray. We have hope that the Lord will be faithful to what we said to us. We just don't know what that is going to look like. 

Would you pray with us as well. 
Waiting in Hope in Korea.

Thursday, June 20, 2013


Just a note, living close to a military post offers so much, but one thing I have grown to find soothing is the sound of taps at 10pm. This is soothing for a few reasons:

1. It reminds me to go to bed.
2. It reminds me there are people fighting through the night to keep us safe.
3. It calls me to pray for the military and their family's each night.
4. A reminder of the call on our lives.

below is a sample of what taps is for those of you who don't know it:

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Wanderings of a scattered but centered mind

I am out for some solo time walking around the ville ( American village- really not since there is night but bars and food) I have my headphones in and listening to klove and 
get the word out cd's
The first song as I walked out the door was  the Love of God that wanted to pierce through the lies. Right at that moment I happened to look down and find a rock in the shape of a heart. Not a surprise, but a surprise at the same time. You would think that after all the reminders the Lord has given I would know without a doubt how much the Lord does love. There is a story of seeing hearts of where I go, someone prayed for me on 2010. 
Living in the freedom and confidence today of whose I am.

I am also struck with the darkness of this place. I knew we would be in a fierce battle but  didn't realize how much. I am walking thru the streets listening the Gods word and praying it over where I walk. There is such a battle for the folks here. Marriages- people-students either thrive or dive here. 
Lord help us to be used for YOUR glory, and come alongside those folks who are struggling. We are yours, thank you for what you are doing even now, and the people that you have for us here. 

I was walking back and the found myself worshiping the Lord with everything I had, even singing in the streets. The Koreans looked at me funny, but I didn't care!! I wanted to shout the name of the Lord all over, and claim this area for the Lord.  

God use me, in every way you can, for your glory, and your purposes. 
I am here, ready!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

What are we hiding?

Check out this photo below?

What do you notice? I am struck with a few things.
We have passed by this house numerous times each day walking to the train station. I am always struck with the sheer amount of things that are hidden (or not so hidden) behind the house. The front of the house is a wonderful clean outside. I am struck with the thought of what do we hide from others? from God?
The phrase sweeping things under the rug, well how about putting them outside out back? What are some things we shove away, refuse to deal with, hold to ourselves? I know there are lots of times I don't want to resolve conflict and sweep it under the rug. I know there are things that I want to coddle and keep as my sin pet. Sounds weird to think of it that way, but I think its true. There are sin's that we don't really think are that bad, that we keep coddling. Gossip? Gluttony? Lust?
What are the things that you continue to do that are really hard to let go of?

If you have ever watched the show hoarders, than you can see something similar to this photo. When I watch that show I want to go in and clean everything, and dump everything. But, as I think about it, do I want to do that in my spiritual life? How often do we want to go in and remove the things in the back closets that have cobwebs from years of dust, and moths. Do we believe the Lord is our Redeemer?

But also, looking at this photo, I think of memories too. I am sure each thing they own has a memory; has a story. How do I process this thought?

Do I hold on to people and memories that the Lord is telling me to let go of?   How do I think of that? Who comes to mind when I think of that? No one person comes to mind, as I dearly love so so so many.
As I am writing I also am thinking of the rats, mice, and bugs that are under all that stuff. What in my life as I hold on to things-people is secretly being overtaken with bugs and such. All of this stuff could be good, or was good at one time, but now it looks like it has overtaken the place.
Also, it could have a whole other story that I can't even think of. Before we took this photo we saw the old man shuffle in the door.

All of these thoughts are really ramblings and processing ideas. I would love to hear your continued thoughts as you think about it...

Blessings abounding

I am in awe of the blessings of our God. As I write this, we have had numerous folks donate items we had only prayed to God for. This includes something simple like a iTunes card to be able to download a english version of apps to help us get around. I stand in awe of how our Lord provides. I don't know what to say really, as I look at things like sheets, garbage cans, laundry detergent, hot water pot. I am totally amazed!

Please join us in praising God for His provision of the little and big things that we need.
As you praise the Lord, thank Him for the little and big things in your life! Gratitude will cause you to fall to your knees. I know for us, (me) it strips away pride accepting things from others as an act of worship. Gone is the "Good ole American, do it yourself mentality", but replaced with a Godly perspective of a God who provides for His children.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Staff Conference to Germany

As some of you know, we went to Germany for our World Wide Cadence Student Ministries Conference May4th- 13th. This was a trip that was hard, and amazing at the same time.
below are some thoughts I had journaled on the plane back.

"We are heading on our first flight. First as we were waiting to board we sat back and talked about what we saw during our time and what God was doing. One thing was clear, we had grown since leaving Germany. We looked back and realized our God, the God of the universe had given us a perspective change. Gone was bitterness gone was truth that we thought we knew.  Replaced was the truth about God, the truth that God did move us thru a mighty time of growth and a mighty time of trust. We no longer were looking thru the lenses of pain and disorientation but now were looking thur the eyes of grace and stillness. Grace in the fact that the grace we felt and gave for others astounded even us. As Dan and I  we were sharing at the airport we both had realized how much we each had grown in how we shared, how we talked, and in just how we viewed others.  Gone was hurt that Satan had tried to grasp our hearts with; replaced was truth and talking truth over others. WHAT A MIGHTY GOD WE SERVE. 
I came in to the conference not ready to connect emotionally, and it took till a while really before we were really able to. But what was interesting was the feelings of loss we felt Friday, knowing this was it. What really shocked me was ( it shouldn't have) that right after we did a study and Devo on identity, that is exactly how I was attacked with my identity in the group. I also began to grieve. Grief in a way I had yet to experience. A feeling of  emotion that was so powerful I didn't know now how to deal with it. So much that all I wanted to do was run into the arms of Jesus, run so hard that the shock of the embrace would shake loose the feelings I was having. 
Even leaving I knew i was emotionally done, but I saw how much we infect each other. When I am emotionally done, (tired basically) I easily slip into the triangle. I noticed it this week way more than I saw before in myself and others.
Also, being there during the time of finding out about the family that had an accident was shaking too. Realizing how futile and fast life is and how much all our petty wants are just vanity, 
We went thru talking about loving one another and making disciples. It caused me to look at my life, and take stock in how much or how little I was doing this. So, who in your life would you say is good at making disciples?

Coming back into Korea, I knew we were in for work. I knew there were going to be rough nights, (ok now only 3 nights) of sleep, and hard days brain wise of figuring out a place to live etc... 
That was and is all so true, but what I didn't think on, (which I should have) was the peace and calm that the Lord would bring in the midst. When we went into our now (new house) I was overwhelmed with the provision of God. Even in the first few steps, I stopped and stood in awe. Our God, even knew in my secret longings, wanted to pour out His goodness of things like a cool sink. When we were in the states helping my mom and dad redo their bathroom I was struck with the cool bowl sinks. I muttered something like, (man one day, in the future,  I would love one of these) little did I know that God heard my little mutters and decided to add that in the new house just cause he could. Wow, God thank you! 

In the house its furnished, which was amazing since we sold and gave away all our furniture knowing God would provide. Little did we know. In the house, also there is on the balcony a little cafe setting like thing (with chairs and tables) ideal for a good quite time and coffee dates with others who come and sit. 

This song link was a song we heard at staff conference: 
I LOVE IT, what a comfort to know!

I pray that as you listen, you are comforted by the Lord's peace!!!!!

We are here

Many of you have been following us as we follow the Lord. Throughout this time we have seen God's hand move in so many way in our hearts and around us. Thank you for praying, there are no words to describe our DEEP DEEP thankfulness. Below are some photos as we arrived. Also our CSM Director and friend was here to see us too, which helped the transition of yesterday.

Our new home!!! 

Love this food! Yum!

A heart of a Youth Pastor's wife

As I sit here, I am awestruck by the vision of 3000 youth Pastor's, volunteers, Senior Pastors, all coming together to praise the name of Jesus. Camp is for the Campers. Yes, this weekend, we are at camp, and we are loving it. The amazing thing about a camp for those that love students is that we are all quirky and unusual. The environment is such that we can stop into any group and join a conversation. (although sometimes I need a bit more of a push)
We have been talking about being disillusioned with life, God, all of the above. While life throws at us many many curve balls, its how we respond to those objects flying that determine if we will get hit, wounded, or just bounced off of. While I admit its not easy when directions you think the Lord is leading changes, there is still a sense of hope in the midst of it all. Today in our general session Rick Lawrence asked us what taste of the Lord do we have in our mouth.  My answer is Hopefully and delightfully invasive. Ok, so we were only supposed to have 1 word, but I couldn't put it into 1 word. There I go moving out of the boundaries.
What I mean about the Lord being delightfully, and hopeful invasive, is this. There is extreme delight in knowing the Lord is at work, and extreme delight that the Lord is chipping away at the dead branches of my heart. That is where invasive comes in. Just like a medical invasive test where there is a scope that goes in and puts visual photos and examines your innards so often I feel the Lord doing that in my heart. Constantly I experience pruning in my heart, but pruning with a purpose. I know, and have experienced the Lord enough to know He prunes for my good.  The hard part sometimes is in the midst of life, fully and completely trusting with abandon.  Thus, when we are disillusioned I think its when we take our eyes off of the Lord, and His perspective for us,  and look thru our eyes at our circumstance.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wage War against your soul

In the hallway Dan and I are in, we have been reading scripture together and discussing it. Its been really helpful in bringing us to the foot of the cross together as a couple. We've been thru 1st Samuel and now we have read 1st Peter. Here are some thoughts while discussing the book, and things that the Lord brought out.

"Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a SINCERE brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart since you have been born again not of perishable seed but of imperishable through the living word of God." 1st Peter 1:22-23

Having purified your souls by obedience to the truth. Hm. If I think about my life and my actions I know that there are times that I have not purified my soul in following the truth. Truth, what is truth. 
This is something I asked my Middle school girls often. Their response, truth is God, truth is what I see, truth is what I feel.  Then, I ask the follow up question, how do you know what truth is. Can you prove truth.  Thinking on this, makes me go to a verse the Lord has been working in me the last year on.
Philippians 4:8-9. You know the passage, whatever is right, true, noble, praiseworthy, lovely think on these things whatever you have learned, seen, put in the practice and the peace of God will guard your hearts in Christ Jesus.: (I realize I paraphrased it) Why do I tie this into the other verse?

I think there are many time we focus on things that are not true. We focus on issues that for example are filled with our pride, thinking while others are sharing we know it better. We, especially with others, focus on hurts, or our agenda. Do we love with a SINCERE love? How often do we purify our hearts with truth when we love others. Is what we think truth about them, or what they think? Do we listen, or do we judge.  I know for me, I am so guilty of trying to fix them in my mind while talking. I try sometimes to annalize them, but I think often its my agenda. Do we sincerely listen to those that the Lord has put in our path? Listening is just opening up your ears to hear what they are saying, and not in your mind thinking of your response while they are talking.  Ooh,  I'm guilty again.

This part brought to me another passage in 1st Peter:

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passion of the flesh, WHICH WAGE WAR AGAINST YOU." 

These things wage war, Hm. War-
 Loving and serving the military we know what war is. We know the effects, and the demands and the casualties. Think about war in your soul.
A state of armed conflict between different nations or states or different groups within a nation or state.
Engage in a war.
noun.  warfare - battle - fight - struggle - combat - strife
verb.  fight - combat - battle - make war

We are in a spiritual fight, flesh is waring about our spirit daily, hourly, every minute. Think with me about war. Think about all the different fasicits of war. This thought brought me to thinking on how many people parished, or were hurt because I was in sin walking in the flesh. That thought brought me to my knees yesterday as we are in ministry and there are times we minister out of our flesh. After wrestling with this thought for a while, the Lord calmed my soul with " but God and his grace and mercy"  I know there are times (hard to admit) where I was not allowing the Lord to saturate my soul, and I was walking in Becke's stubbornness and pride. I confessed all those times when I thought back of what ministry would have looked like if in that moment I allowed the Lord to saturate me. Now don't miss hear me, most times I do allow the Lord, but you know, we are human, and stubborn.  I am just saying, I am not 100%, 100% of the time. 

In thinking about war in our soul, 1st Peter 2:22 "He commited no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth when he was reviled he did not revile in return." Hm. Revile? definition: Criticize in an abusive or angrily insulting manner.  Oh ouch. Ok, how many of you are perfect in this area. How many of you are verbal processors. I process verbally, but that doesn't mean I need to sin in processing. How many times do we sin and call it processing verbally. Again, guilty. Oh man, see why this book is kicking my butt.  I think especially in the church, we try to process things that happen and in so doing fall into gossip and don't even know it. I had a good friend the other day, tell me that I know your processing this, but I don't need to hear it, and be a part of this conversation. I so value that, cause how many of us just let others talk. So to that person, Thank you.
I could write for hours on 1st Peter but for the sake of your eyes, and my fingers, I will end here. 
Needless to say, blogger land, this book has kicked my butt, (God has kicked my butt) and am realizing how much I  need the Lord. How much I need Him to saturate every part of my heart. 

I would love to hear your thoughts bloggers and readers.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Praising HIM -Even here- in this Hallway

Have you ever wondered What is God doing?

This has been our heart cry for the past 2 weeks or so.
As you know the door to Osan closed, or rather stayed closed to us. This was a huge surprise to all involved, as well as us. About that time there was a post on Facebook (yes there is good with Facebook) that was this:

This was right on time, (which the Lord knew) 
What was interesting to me is thinking on the idea of the hallway.  Am I uncomfortable in the hallway? or am I liking the hallway. Do I set up house in the hallway of life? Who else will I meet in the hallway that needs the peace and joy of the Lord. As we think about this time in between doors, we are blessed beyond measure. The Lord has provided above our wildest imaginations while being here. HE has given us up speakable joy. Yesterday was a hard day, and I had a meltdown. But when I stopped to think about why the meltdown happened, I realized I took my eyes off the Lord and His purposes and looked thru man's eyes (ok woman's eyes) and got thrown off of praising Him. 
Its interesting to me that when I am focused on what the Lord is doing, and what He has done in and thru us even here, I stand amazed. How can I not praise Him in the hallway. 
Believe me there are times I want to climb thru the window, but if I did, I would miss what God has for me here and now. What I am coming to enjoy is EVEN HERE God is giving joy, and my job is to praise Him in the hallway. I am also called to help others around me in the hallway, or who are stuck and frightened here to come alive to the knowledge of God. 
I start to think about what each of our hallways look like. 
MY hallway (usually during transition) my thoughts of the hallway are the image below.

This will be no surprise to many, but I think in people. All my life has been filled with memories good and bad of encounters with others. Many of these photo memories are filled with memories of the Lord. In fact most are, but there are tons of photos and images on my walls. People who have shown Christ, glimpses of God at work, and then sad faces of those who have chosen a path that leads to hardness of heart. Those are the images that hurt me soul the most. Usually in transition is where we walk thru hallways of life; ours in no different. While we leave communities and people we love, I envision walking thru this hallway encountering memories of things that have changed us along the way.

Thinking about hallways makes me ask the question, what does your hallway look like? Dan's hallway is so different than mine. As yours will be different from others. So what does your hallway look like? And, what do you look like when you come out on the other side. OR, do you ever go thru another door? are you stuck in the hallway?
Take a look at the images below, I fond myself looking on google at images of hallways, and that started my mind going a million miles in different directions.  There are hallways with building comforts, dark scary hallways, hallways with hardship, dispair, hallways filled with hurting people. What does your hallway look like?

IS it roomy, have you made improvements?Is the hallway different by time you enter the other door, or are you?

Thoughts that keep my mind processing change, and transition. So, here we stand with YOU Lord, we can do no more than to Praise you in this hallway!

Below is a video, or link to a song by Francis chan's daughter called "Even Here". This has become a dear song to us at this time!

I would love to hear about your hallway... or stories from your hallway. email me at:
 We are heading to Poland, (stopped for the night at a hotel) so we can help others. No point in just focusing on us, there is much hurt and need out there.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Sinus Bronchitis

Yep- this is what I have. Sinus Bronchitis. I have had it since our anniversary trip in December and this will make the 3rd round of antibiotics. This time I am feeling a bit better after the second day. I went into the clinic yesterday, cause I wanted to catch this thing before it got worse again, and the Doc asked me some questions, then tapped on my cheeks. He was tapping pretty hard, and while my face was twitching and I was curling in pain, he asked me the famous question (does this HURT?). So, I said I guess from the twitching and body convulsing you couldn't tell???
New round of antibiotics, and nasal clearing things. Also we gave me some homeopathic meds to take to boost the immune system since I have been on  antibiotics since December. I will let you know in a  week how I am doing. Meanwhile Dan and I have had a down weekend watching the series "Once upon a Time".

Monday, January 7, 2013

Transition- Step 1

So we have made our first step in this transition. We are no longer staying at our house, but staying with a friend. But, alas our poor cat is alone at the house. This breaks our hearts as we are at a loss of what to do. We trust that the Lord is working, and is providing a place.

Its strange as we were acknowledged today in Chapel, I stood there and thought, I should be feeling, I should be crying or showing emotions. Why am I not? As many in the military community know PCSing is hard, and there is a defense mechanism that goes up a little bit before you move, and while moving. It serves to protect the heart from hurting. This is a challenge in the ministry to keep feeling when so many people come in and out of your life.  Thank the Lord we still feel; but this is different. Its different being the one that stays and others move, but moving instead of others is a whole other feeling.

Tonight we have a farewell at the chapel. I am nervous about it, and don't know what to expect. So, Lord this is me going with an open heart and giving your praise for whatever happens. I don't like surprises, so this is a bit tough. All I know is I need to wear a cute outfit that I want to be posted in photos and that I will want to look at for years to come.

Praise the Lord I believe we found a home for our cat. That has been the biggest heart ache for both Dan and I.  Someone contacted me last night and said they wanted the cat.  Ugh, my heart....
Hurts so much that I am overwhelmed.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year, whats to come

As I read through so many other blogs and posts about (NEW YEAR) I am struck with the sense of expectation. What do we expect from God? What do we desire? Are our desires lines up with His desires? I often think of something I heard of a few years back, that is, if the Lord never blesses you again would you still praise Him? I think of that today as we are in January 2013. What will our new year consist of? I pray it consists of Dan and I loving the Lord more deeply this year even if He doesn't bless us. I pray we would be tightly interwoven with Him that all other things would pass away. Sure I do pray for people, for Korea, for students, for so many other things. What hits me though is what is the most important thing?

We celebrated by watching a movie called Christmas in Canaan, and then blew up fireworks. There is a scene in the movie that struck me last night.

Here's to hoping and trusting that the Lord would do what He does, and that we would get out of the way.